


white noise

by tkreyesevandiaz



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Cuddles, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of Substance Abuse, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Protective Firefam, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, Tumblr Prompt, Tumblr request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:54:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22503610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tkreyesevandiaz/pseuds/tkreyesevandiaz
Summary: While Alex had once pursued him and made him feel like he was worth something outside of his dad’s shadow, now that TK looked back on it, the whole relationship had been toxic. It’d burrowed into TK’s mind and made him doubt his self-worth, made him lose all respect for himself. And now that he was starting to learn to take care of himself, life threw a curveball named Alex at him.Based on a Tumblr prompt!
Relationships: Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)/TK Strand, TK Strand/Original Characters
Comments: 50
Kudos: 728





	white noise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bamster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bamster/gifts).



> Hi! This was a Tumblr askbox fic!
> 
> Prompt at the bottom to avoid fic spoilers! This is gifted to @Bamster on AO3 for requesting it! [@bammybell on Tumblr]
> 
> This is unbeta'd so forgive any errors!
> 
> Enjoy!

“There is no way,” Carlos said immediately, shooting the idea down. TK pouted at him while everyone else laughed at their antics.

“But it’ll be fun!” 

“Nope. I’m not doing it TK, don’t even think about it.” The police officer shook his head at his boyfriend as he took a sip of coffee. TK was adamant about having Carlos dress up like a true and tried Texan cowboy at the newly annual Halloween party this year, and Carlos wasn’t having any of it.

“It’s Halloween, and you need a costume,” Marjan added, leaning forward with a wide smirk on her face. Everyone knew that Marjan was solely on TK’s side, and would probably end up screwing Carlos over. He sent her a heatless glare as he shook his head at TK again.

“Hell no. I’m just gonna go as a cop.”

“That’s been your costume for the past four years,” Michelle pitched in from where she was perched on Owen’s desk. Wasn't she supposed to be his friend? “Maybe it’s time to switch things up.” 

“Don’t listen to TK, he’s been a firefighter every single year since he was a toddler,” Owen revealed, shrugging at his son's offended look. TK’s jaw dropped open as he protested against his dad’s comment, voice drowned out by the hooting laughter and teasing.

“You all suck.” TK crossed his arms over his chest and sunk down into the sofa, pouting as he buried himself in Carlos’ side. Carlos smiled around the rim of his mug at how adorable his boyfriend looked.

“Hey, is anyone there?” A male voice called out from the station bay. Normally, Carlos wouldn’t have paid any heed; this wasn’t his bullpen and it was his day off. He was just here for TK.

But what had him double-taking was his boyfriend’s back going ramrod straight and still at the voice. He was stiffer than Carlos had ever seen him.

Call it cop’s intuition or whatever, but suddenly, he was taken back to that night in the station after TK was arrested, all those months ago. 

He remembered feeling like he was watching the entire scene from a third person point of view, like an out-of-body experience as he pressed a tissue against TK’s bloody lip. How he’d zeroed his concentration on the wound to avoid showing how much he actually _hurt_ from TK’s avoidance but as soon as he met his imploring gaze, he was lost to it.

The vulnerability in his hazel gaze had almost made him forget his anger at being ditched so easily. Granted, perhaps part of his anger hadn’t been justified; TK had never told him that he wanted a serious relationship, Carlos had just set out with trying to win him over. Though the flipside was also true. TK hadn’t told him that he _didn’t_ want a serious relationship until that night. 

_“I just went through a really bad breakup. Like, nuclear bad, and then I relapsed.”_

“TK?” The man called out through the station again, which confirmed that he was exactly who Carlos thought he was. It also brought Carlos back to the fact that no one had moved. Paul was looking steadily at TK, his keen eye not missing a single detail. Marjan looked concerned while Judd and Owen looked murderous.

Owen made a move to stand up but Michelle stopped him with a single hand. Smart choice really. The fire captain looked like he was about to lay whoever was in the bay flat on his ass without taking names.

“Can we help you?” Michelle’s slow but firm voice called out. 

“Yeah, I’m looking for TK Strand?” There was a slight accent to the words, one that TK had had when he first came to Austin all those months ago.

“Tyler?” Carlos spoke slowly, not wanting to startle him. TK looked blank, his face gone ashen. He was physically here but mentally, he was thousands of miles away. His fingers were twitching as he tugged at a loose strand on his uniform pants.

“I need to talk to him” were the first words he spoke. Owen’s eyebrows furrowed as he opened his mouth, a scalding protest clear on his tongue. Carlos gave him a single look usually reserved for criminals that silenced all his complaints. 

He understood it though. This was TK’s dad speaking, not Captain Owen Strand. He had been the one to find TK lying comatose in the living room, limbs on a bed of scattered pills. And Carlos would be lying if he said that he didn’t feel the same protective instinct towards his boyfriend. But TK was a grown man, he could make his own decisions. He’d come a long way since those first few AA meetings, and from what the younger man told him, color was starting to return to his mind. He was in a healthier place.

As much as Carlos wanted to throw TK’s ex-boyfriend in jail and interrogate him in various painful ways, he knew that closure from the man that broke his heart would go a long way in helping him heal completely from the aftermath of the breakup.

TK stood up and walked towards the stairs, tapping Michelle on the shoulder before going downstairs. Carlos tracked his boyfriend until he disappeared from his view, bringing his gaze to look at his friend. The paramedic gave him one of her comforting smiles before taking up her perch again.

He just hoped TK would be okay.

* * *

TK hated it.

He hated that he’d reacted like that to Alex’s voice, even after all these months. Never mind that Carlos’ warmth was still burning through his side; he couldn’t stop his mind from comparing the two men.

While Alex had once pursued him and made him feel like he was worth something outside of his dad’s shadow, now that TK looked back on it, the whole relationship had been toxic. It’d burrowed into TK’s mind and made him doubt his self-worth, made him lose all respect for _himself_. And now that he was starting to learn to take care of himself, life threw a curveball named Alex at him. 

Alex had started distancing himself from TK during the latter half of their relationship. It wasn’t a physical distance, no; God knew that the only time Alex was really with him was when they were in bed. He should’ve caught a clue right then and there, but like an idiot, he started pushing how much effort he put into the relationship in a desperate bid to hold onto something that wasn’t even there.

It was like a well-written foreshadowing; when it’s first read, you can’t tell that that would be the conclusion, but looking back, all the signs were right there. Which was the thought that helped TK move forward; it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t recognize it, and that he had nothing to blame himself for. 

That thought, and Carlos.

Carlos carried his integrity into everything he did; he held a person’s self-respect above all and made sure that TK never felt belittled about his struggles with substance abuse and therapy. There had been horrible, horrible days where TK would wake up anxious enough to vibrate in place, withdrawal fevers, and so moody that no one wanted to be around him, save for Carlos. His boyfriend would silently go about in taking care of him, knowing that if TK wanted to talk, he would. He truly was TK’s safe space, and no matter how much he would appreciate the man, it would always fall short.

Carlos gave as good as he got, and he was good on calling people out on their bullshit without being demeaning. He kept TK from flying too high and balanced him out perfectly.

God, he loved him. 

Now if only he could pick up the courage to tell him that.

TK rounded the last stairs and came face-to-face with Alex’s handsome face, standing a few inches taller than himself. 

Strangely enough, TK felt...nothing. Not in the gray sense; he just couldn’t care less.

Of course, there was a part of him that was beyond furious with Alex and how he’d dropped TK without a second thought. But there was no part of him that hurt with the sound of Alex’s voice anymore. No part of him that demanded Alex pay retribution for what he’d done. TK just wanted to wipe his hands clean of him.

Progress, really.

“How can I help you, Alex?” TK crossed his arms to make his fidgeting less obvious.

“I came to…” Alex trailed off as his gaze went somewhere behind TK. He turned to find virtually everyone crowded on the stairs while sending the man glares of various intensity. It was heartwarming to know everyone had his back, because it’d been just him and his dad for so long.

But the look on Carlos’ face bothered him. It wasn’t his normal open and expressive face; TK had never seen such a carefully blank expression on his boyfriend before. Either way, his eyes said pretty much everything about how he felt.

There was a little fear, but mostly worry for TK and a hell of a lot of anger targeted towards Alex. Even if he didn’t know who he was.

“You hurt our boy and you’ll be spitting blood and bones for weeks.” Judd’s voice was calm and low, but the threat was painfully explicit. Alex winced and stepped back from TK.

Despite himself, TK let out a loud laugh, knowing Judd was a huge teddy bear. “Now that’s out of the way, why exactly are you here?” 

“Can we do this somewhere more private?” His ex-boyfriend shifted uncomfortably, eyes darting back and forth from TK to his fire family. 

“There’s nothing that you’ve got to say that you can’t say right now. They’ll get on with their work.” The words were clear, and everyone got the memo.

Instead of going back upstairs to plan the party, they all split up to do work around the bunk, keeping a sneaky eye on TK and Alex. TK led Alex over to a relatively private corner and prompted Alex to talk. The jitters in his fingers had settled, now that he knew that his support system was behind him every step of the way.

“I came to win you back, TK.” Alex took TK’s hands in his own as he stepped into his space again after casting a cursory glance in Judd’s direction. TK froze, looking at Alex with his jaw screwed tight.

An angry blaze took root in his core, travelling through his blood. He yanked his hands back immediately as he backed away. “Where’s your boyfriend?”

The man hesitated. “We broke up.” The words were lifeless, spoken as a fact Alex didn’t want TK to know.

How had he even _thought_ that he would marry someone who cared about _nothing_ in their life?

“Shocker. How does it feel to get dumped?” TK cocked his head, raising his eyebrows at Alex. He clearly remembered fiddling with the ring he was going to propose to Alex with, a tight knot of anxiety and excitement buried in his chest. Remembered watching everything blur around him as Alex told him that he was in love with someone else; had been for the better part of their relationship. 

“He didn’t want to get married. But he only made me realize how much I love you. Marry me, TK.” 

The chuckle that escaped TK was not human. It was humorless and dark, and definitely didn’t sound like himself. The irony of this situation wasn’t something he’d ever imagined but damn if he wasn’t relishing this opportunity.

“Do you honestly believe that this ploy would work?” Alex looked confused as he opened his mouth to say something. TK continued, feeling his body warm with the intensity of his anger. “Did you honestly think that you could walk straight in here, tell me that you want to marry me, and I’d immediately run back to you?”

“You love me TK, you want to marry me. What changed?” The man genuinely thought it was this easy, as if he was entitled to TK’s time and life. TK shook his head.

“All of that is in the past, Alex. I wanted to marry you, because I _thought_ I loved you. In reality, I was just holding onto something that wasn’t there.” TK shook his head, eyes trailing upstairs where he could see Carlos fiddling with a tea bag to keep his mind occupied. “I cared deeply about you Alex, and I was once prepared to spend my life with you. But it wouldn’t have ever worked anyway. You broke me, Alex.”

He wasn’t about to expose the hellish parts of the past 10 months, but he wasn’t going to let Alex get away with this. The other man’s face twisted up in some semblance of anger, though there wasn’t any regret in his expression.

“You cheated on me for _months_ . I can’t ever forgive that. All it would’ve taken was one conversation for you to tell me that this wasn’t something you wanted. And you spent half of our relationship fucking someone else, so at this point, you can’t expect me to fall back into you. I _won’t_ fall back in you.”

“Why not? Are _you_ fucking someone else?” TK’s ex stepped near him with a vile look on his face, trailing his eyes up and down TK’s body as he placed a possessive hand on TK’s hip. Immediately, TK shoved Alex away from him. His fists curled up tighter, itching to knock Alex out. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Judd and Mateo advance closer to him, but one flick of his fingers had them pausing.

“Fuck you, Alex. Just go back, you’re not going to get anything from me.”

“You’ll regret this, TK. There’s not going to be anyone who wants you with your baggage, and you’ll come running right back to me.” Ten months ago, these words would hurt. Now? It was white noise to him.

“Funny how that worked out.” The familiar voice came from behind Alex. Carlos was leaning against a truck, his pose casual but screaming of lethal. The man’s jaw was clenched hard and arms folded across a tightly torso. His gaze was as hard as flint, unusual in his handsome face. This was Officer Carlos Reyes speaking.

TK shook his head as he walked around Alex to Carlos’ side. “Go home, Alex. You weren’t worth it then, and you’re not worth it now.”

“Who’s that?” Alex ignored TK’s words and glared at Carlos. Him being in his civilian clothes meant that Alex had no idea what he was dealing with here. And he didn't deserve an explanation either way.

“Someone who could throw you in jail for stalking, sexual harassment and a boatload of other things that would ensure you rot in there for the rest of your pathetic existence.” Carlos pushed off the wall to go nose to nose with Alex. He was slightly shorter, but his personality made him seem so much bigger. 

He kept his voice in a low hiss. “You’re wrong about everything; TK is worth more than anything in the world to me, and only someone as foolish as you would let someone that precious go. That’s the damned truth. Now get your ass out of this station before I drag you kicking and screaming.”

Alex sent a scowl to TK over Carlos’ shoulder before walking out, barely avoiding Owen’s withering glare. TK’s eyes remained on Carlos as he opened his mouth. The bomb that his boyfriend had dropped on Alex had those three little words pushing to come out of his mouth, but it didn’t seem right to say them like this. Not when Alex’s nasty words were so fresh, hanging in the air between them.

“TK?” his dad called out, looking between him and Carlos. TK reluctantly looked away from his boyfriend’s ticking jaw to his worried father.

“Yeah?” TK plastered a smile on his face to placate his dad.

“You okay?” Owen asked, concern coloring his voice. Judd, Mateo and Marjan came up behind him while Paul and Michelle leaned over the balcony.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine, thanks. I’m sorry about,” he waved in the general vicinity of the firehouse, “all that.”

“How about you take the rest of the day?” Owen said gently. TK was about to protest it but his father’s quick eye flick towards the police officer behind him silenced everything.

He knew what Owen wanted him to understand. 

“Okay. Carlos, let’s go?” A head nod was all TK got out of him, but at this point, he’d take what he could get.

TK got changed quickly and threw on a hoodie, running into his dad on his way out of the locker room. His eyes were filled with worry but a quiet pride too, one that soothed most of the fidgety energy in him instantly. Just like he had as a child, TK clung to him, relishing his solid form.

“Love you, Dad.” Owen ruffled his hair as he returned the sentiment. A few hugs and words of comfort from the other firefighters and paramedics, and a hefty clap on the shoulder from Judd and TK was off, brooding boyfriend in tow.

The car ride back home was silent. Carlos didn’t even flick on the radio as he normally did. TK leaned his forehead against the window as he replayed the conversation with Alex in his head. He still felt vile from where Alex had touched him, where he’d raked his eyes down his body. He just wanted to go home and bleach himself clean.

“Are you okay?” Carlos’ voice was barely above a whisper, left hand clenched hard enough around the steering wheel to bleach the color from it.

“Yeah. He doesn’t matter at all to me anymore.” TK paused before sharing some of the thoughts he’d had when he first heard Alex’s voice. “I was terrified that I would be hurt, seeing him. But no. There’s nothing but red-hot anger in me, especially after the way he talked to me. I just wanted to punch him until I’d broken every bone in his body but honestly, that was it.”

“You sound surprised.” Nothing really got past Carlos.

“Because I am.” TK turned to look at his boyfriend’s side profile, the flickering of the day casting shadows across his cheekbones. “He was a big part of my life at one point, and whether I like it or not, he was part of the reason why I ended up relapsing with drugs to begin with. I honestly thought I’d feel something more.”

“I was scared,” Carlos said after a heartbeat of silence. “I didn’t want to impose myself on the conversation, because I knew it was important to you.”

“Were you scared I’d go back to him?”

The wheel jerked in surprise at TK’s quiet question. “Not at all. I trust you, TK. That wasn’t even my mind until you brought it up. But when I saw him touch you, I honestly saw red. I would’ve happily gone to jail if it meant his hands were off of you.”

Carlos’ admission made TK’s blood run cold; Carlos was the level-headed one, he didn’t usually make rash decisions at all. The thought that he would to protect TK made his heart feel fuzzy, but he didn’t want to bring ‘the dark side’ out of him. He made a move to pick up his boyfriend’s free hand, twisting their fingers together. “I’m okay, and you’re okay. We’re fine. I got my closure, Alex is still an asshole, we move on with our lives.”

A soft chuckle escaped Carlos as he lifted their hands to place a light kiss on the back of TK’s hand.

Carlos turned onto his driveway and the two men got out, each still lost in their own thoughts.

“I meant what I said, by the way,” Carlos said as TK started toeing off his shoes. He looked at Carlos confusedly, not knowing which part he was talking about. “About you being the most important thing in the world to me.”

His face flushed with the compliment, a pleased satisfaction humming under his skin in place of the nervous energy Alex brought out in him. Carlos stepped closer to him, cupping his face with two broad palms, stroking over the thin skin with an idle thumb. “I’m sorry you had to deal with him so unexpectedly today, but I’m proud of you for handling it so well. You’re pretty awesome, you know that?” 

TK grinned at the words, a little shy at the doting praise. An idea came to him as the tension between them dissipated completely.

“I’ve been told a time or two.” He waited until Carlos started taking off his own shoes off, balanced on one leg, before he continued. “I love you, you know that?”

If how his boyfriend’s limbs flailed as he fell over was anything to go by, Carlos was aptly shocked by the sudden words. TK laughed loudly as his boyfriend blinked up at him with his jaw slack, a fiery comfort blazing in his chest.

“You okay there?” 

“What did you say?” Carlos whispered, almost as if he couldn’t believe it. TK’s grin melded into a soft smile as he repeated the words.

“I love you, Carlos Reyes. It may not be the best time to say it, but I couldn’t wait-” Before he finished his sentence, Carlos was leaping off the floor to pull TK into a heated kiss, mouth moving urgently against him before the kiss slowed down to a deliberate exploration of the other man.

“Say it again,” Carlos demanded breathlessly, pushing TK down onto the couch. TK laughed and said it again, pulling his boyfriend flush against him as they cuddled together on the small couch, every inch of them pressed together.

“I love you too, but you couldn’t wait five seconds until I had my shoes off?” Carlos grumbled against TK’s neck, his weight pushing the younger man into the cushions.

“You’re still dressing up as a cowboy,” TK mumbled sleepily in response. “You’re not getting out of that one.” 

Carlos’ fingers absent-mindedly brushed through TK’s hair as he let himself drift off. 

“Whatever you want, _mi novio,_ whatever you want.”

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: TK’s ex comes back after being rejected/dumped and he wants TK back. The firefam and Carlos get protective.
> 
> How was it? Leave me Kudos and Comments! <3 
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [zeethebooknerd](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/zeethebooknerd) or on Twitter at [tkreyesevandiaz](https://twitter.com/tkreyesevandiaz).


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